When I was a 12 year old child-having barely reached puberty, I was having a sexual relationship with a 42 year old man-a pastor. I was ripe for the picking. A pedophile's dream.I needed a father. Having little interaction with my own, I didn't that what was happening between us was wrong. Only that a man was showing me love for the first time in my life.When the heat in the kitchen became too much, the pastor took his show on the road in search of other victims. I was left behind to deal with the fall out of his crimes; rejection by my church, my peers and crushing confusion. Hopelessly in love with a man who assured me of his undying devotion. It didn't stop there.When I was 35 years old, I married him. And to my horror, I learned the cost of loving my molester. A man who I always dreamed of as an adoring lover, not a predator with a hunger for torturing young girls.Out of Darkness: The Song of my Heart tells my story, And how it is possible to heal.