Most couples do not build trust! Most couples are content to assume Trust based on morals and character. Building trust based on assumptions about morals and character is a learned but highly flawed approach to building trust in an intimate relationship. The result, too many times? - A Fragile Trust that is easily broken. That is a problem!

We have to change that.

"Building Trust in Relationships - Your Character and Morals Are Not Enough" posits a fundamentally solid approach to building trust in relationships. It is not only a fundamentally solid approach, it is transformative.

Some of what is covered:

1. Trust = Comfort:

- The primary purpose of Trust in an intimate relationship is to foster comfort. Real comfort cannot be had from making assumptions based on someone's morals or character.

2. The Importance of Self-Trust & The Danger of Not Having It:

- Self-trust is the moral authority to demand the highest level of trust in your relationship. A low level of self-trust means you compromise this authority and is likely to violate trust yourself.

3. Identifying Trust Blind-Spots:

- There are acceptable and sometimes unavoidable violations of trust in a relationship that must not be confused with what is unacceptable. This is mainly the result of trust "blind spots" that can be mitigated or minimized by doing the work of "trust building."

4. Unintentional Violations of Trust:

- Trust will be unintentionally violated in most of not all relationships. Too many couples allow these violations to unnecessarily to ruin their relationship. This does not have to happen if you understand how to identify and treat these violations.

5. Setting the Right Environment for Building Trust:

- Creating an environment conducive to trust involves more than just clear communication, consistency, and mutual respect. It involves being a place of comfort where someone in turmoil can land safely.

6. Rebuilding Trust:

One of the central themes in the book is the process of rebuilding trust after infidelity. Kayes shares several personal stories and examples to illustrate the complexities involved.

**Dealing with Emotional and Mental Strain**:

- The book stresses that rebuilding trust requires significant emotional and mental resources. The burden often falls heavier on the guilty party, who must work diligently to restore the relationship's comfort level. Both partners need to be fully engaged in the process, focusing on constructive actions rather than resorting to name-calling or defensiveness.

**Forgiveness and Learning**:

- Forgiveness is a recurring theme, but it is framed within the context of personal growth and learning. Kayes advises that forgiveness should come after understanding the lessons from the pain inflicted by infidelity, rather than rushing to forgive without processing the emotional impact fully.

**Putting Cheating in Correct Perspective**:

- Putting cheating into the correct perspective is critical for recovery. The book discusses the importance of understanding the root causes and contextual factors surrounding the infidelity. This perspective helps in dealing with the associated hurt and disappointment more effectively.

"Building Trust In Relationships - Your Character and Morals Are Not Enough" offers a deep, insightful look into the multifaceted nature of trust in intimate relationships. Through personal anecdotes, practical advice, and a compassionate approach, the book provides valuable strategies for both building and rebuilding trust.

For anyone dealing with the heartache of infidelity or looking to strengthen their...