Not knowing what to do when her experience of men was always negative, Joanna sought solitude, craving a world of no men to harm her. She knew of no experience of men that didn't hinge upon their desire to abuse or possess her. Joanna could not talk to her mother about it for fear of being taken away from her mother by the authorities. The first time she was raped at a very young age, her mother wanted to celebrate, thinking all the blood on her daughter's underwear was from Joanna starting her first period.

Joanna was not safe while babysitting, or in her foster home after her mother died. She petitioned to live independently and was given permission to do so. Saving all the money she could save from her waitress job, studying many religions, Joanna decided to become a Buddhist and go to an all- male monastery in Tibet, thinking she would be safe living among monks as one of them. A silent monastery would keep her safer, she thought, compared to any other type. A place of silent contemplation needed no explanation, nothing except trying to fit in. Wearing long robes, and head gear, she did fit in for years.

Traveling many miles on a spiritual trek, through mountainous terrain, Joanna learned from various experiences that love did indeed run through it.