Forget Yiddish. Real Jewish is a secret language of complex twists, unexpected nuances, and hidden meanings of Jewish language and culture that draws you into competitions you never knew you entered. Here you will learn all the family secrets. This book will explain everything—The Positive Insult, The Negative Compliment, and The Shrugs, as well as The Buying of the Suit, The Returning of the Suit, and The Basic Psychology of Raising a Jewish Child—and with more guilt. For every goy who might believe a Jewish mother-in-law's "Don't bother driving me, I'll take a cab," Jewish as a Second Language is an essential guide.