After getting his diploma in criminal justice from a backwoods community college, Delbert Clanton, a would-be private investigator, leaves The Economy Trailer Park to seek his fame and fortune in The Big Apple. Before you know it, he is hired to work in a position that he labels as being a "pea eye" but which you and I would say is really a job as an all-purpose substitute security guard. In one after another of these positions, both in uniform and plainclothes , he has a run of good luck in stumbling upon and apprehending one after another miscreant. Both Delbert and his employer, a seedy detective agency, seem to think he knows what he is doing, so, the next thing you know, he gets ahead in the security business. This all seems plausible if you believe everything that Delbert tells you for he is the narrator of the story. This is a humorous send-up of the private security business and Delbert is a character you won't soon forget.