It is painful for us when children are sad. Their sorrow makes us anxious to help them so that they can feel happy again. It also arouses our own feelings of sadness. Yet, if we didn't learn that it was okay to acknowledge and share our own unhappy feelings, we may deny or minimize our children's, or try to distract them from these feelings. This reaction, while understandable, is not helpful. It teaches children not to pay attention to their feelings or share them with others. Children need to learn that sharing feelings with other human beings brings comfort. We want our children to know that we value all of their feelings—positive or negative; that all of us, children and adults, experience such feelings; and that we know how to deal with them.