I won't beat around the bush; Eve Ensler made me do it. Ever since she wrote that remarkable book, 'The Vagina Monologues,' which gave women yet another reason to be proud of themselves, making the bond between them even stronger...and frustrating the hell out of us men in the bargain, I knew I had to write, THE PENIS MONOLOGUES. Hopefully, it will put the PENIS back at the head of the table where it belongs and give us men back our balls.

This then, is a HUMOROUS account of the grandeur of man's PENIS, and why it is envied by women throughout the world.