I used to believe I was what some people would refer to as 'normal' compared to others. My life was healthy, free and fun. I was brought up with discipline by my mother, security and values. The sudden news of my mother's terminal illness was the beginning of loss for me. My mother was a very powerful woman, and through playing hockey with her and being the only daughter, I had a very close yet distant bond.

After facing more tragedy, I became depressed and my resilience was low. My brother had committed suicide on February 25th 2012. As I work in the mental health services, I found this confronting and disppointing as I struggled to help him access help.

I wanted to share my experience as I know that I am not alone with the experience of living with the impact of the suicide of a loved one. Writing this book has been helpful for me in collecting significant details of my life and making public Philip's personal pain that led to his suicide.