This book is intended for all those other "Langzeit Ausländer" like me, who find themselves here in Germany and still can't seem to get a grip on what's going on around them. Life here is sometimes fascinating, eerie, unnerving and unbelievably funny. If you're thinking of moving to Germany, or have just arrived, you'll find this a handy little guide to familiarize yourself with what's to come. These are my personal stories of life in this strange land, which I started in March of 2006 as a blog. Some are commentaries of the time, others timeless commentaries.