"Welcome to this opening of the Arte Museum of Unusual Crafts," reads the press release. Located somewhere near Syracuse, the museum has been open for eight months but under a hundred people have visited it, so this Opening Night has a lot riding on it for Assistant Director Robert Derain. The non-arrival of the main show is just the first indication things will be difficult; scrambling to replace the show means finding something else, including an art demonstration so dangerous the artist has to wear an aqualung (will the guests?) Add a temperamental artist, temperamental staff, a killer cook in Café D'AMUC, a local burglar hiding in the museum (disguised as a performance artist), and problems with scrambled wall texts, and things are going awry well before the art demonstration disaster. Have fun, just don't eat any of the crunchy cheese!