After a lifetime of enforced diplomatic conduct, Alena Schram has begun venting her opinions on subjects dear to the dicky hearts of baby boomers: from the perils of Facebook, the annoying tendencies of husbands who co-shop, and the defective rearing of grandchildren, to sports cars for the menopausal, bras that winch, and chin hairs with minds of their own. The Opinionated Old Cow: Ruminations from the Field is a frivolous yet affectionate observation of life from the standpoint of a seen-it-all, done-it-all, and know-it-all, sexagenarian.
Advance Praise for The Opinionated Old Cow
"Hmmm … I guess you can tell them about that…"
– John, husband
"Honestly, Mum, MUST you?!"
– Elizabeth, daughter
"My life's an open book ... well, not THAT open!"
– Katherine, daughter
"I've found you a lovely Home, Ma. It's in North Dakota, but close to the Canadian border."
– Peter, son
"'Shrek-sized bras?' Really? And you call yourself a friend?"
– Janet ("Ready for Anything"), ex-friend
"I'll have you know I do NOT use Botox! And I'll thank you not to imply otherwise!"
– Ava ("Wattles in the Wind"), current enemy