Tina Clancy is looking forward to a nice, quiet Christmas, but life has other plans for the newly-minted lawyer. As a Daughter of Saturn, Tina expects a healthy dose of crazy in the Zone, Baltimore's roughest docklands. Sparkling holiday lights that spontaneously combust—check. Garden gnomes swimming in sauna-like snow melt—check. But when a blue blob crawls out of the red-hot sewer—that's a bridge too far.

Soon, Tina is trying to exorcise a malevolent ghost, stop the ruthless local chemical plant from bulldozing her neighbors, and banish endangered tourists from her increasingly quirky home. At the same time, she's trying to figure out whether her drop-dead sexy client, Andre Legrande, is a gift-wrapped present or a stocking full of coal. Oh—and Tina just may have accidentally opened a gateway to Hell.