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THE GIRL PRINCE AND HER PRINCESS: The king and queen of Athena desperately need a son to marry off to Princess Vexa. She is the unsightly daughter of their neighbor, King Magnatus of Qax. If no prince is born, Magnatus will take over the peaceful Athena and what the heck, kill all the people of the kingdom. When Athena's rulers finally produce an offspring, the queen dies in childbirth. The king finds himself faced with the greatest challenge of all-a girl! Eighteen years later, it's wedding time. Can the deception continue?

THE OLD WOMAN: Rachel finds out there is a lot more to an old woman than her age.

FUNERAL: Olivia takes a drastic step to combat lesbian bed death.

THE LESBIAN CURSE: Becky and Katy are in middle school and tussling over a boy. Becky curses Katy, saying Katy will become a lesbian.

POLLY WANNA CRACKER: Polly is a bird. A parrot, to be exact. She follows the goings-on of her human family, especially Faye, the daughter, and Glenda, the mother. Polly knows their secrets too. Will Polly spill the beans when she finds herself able to talk after bonking her head against a window?

HAUNTED: Haunted people? Sure, they're everywhere. Haunted houses? Oooh, spooky. Good movie fodder. Excellent for campfire scares. Haunted cars? They're not unheard of. But haunted pens? Yep, they exist, as Linda and Victoria find out when such a pen brings them together.

WHAT GIRLFRIEND?: Bobbie hopes her one-night stand won't pull the U-Haul trick.

FORTUNE: Emma is shocked when a fortune teller reveals a secret only she could have known.

LILI FROM THE FUTURE: It's a dream many people have; your future self visits you and fucks you.

LIZZIE: Twelve-year-old Shel is not sure if her best friend means it when he says he's going to kill a person.

CUPID PULLS A PRANK: For the first time in American history, both the Republicans and the Democrats have female candidates running for president. The Republican is Alice Cowell, and the Democrat is Gillian Marshall. Cupid strikes them during a live, nationwide televised debate, and Alice's and Gillian's reactions shock even Cupid.

ROXANNE AND MS. WINSLOW: When Roxanne Rogers was eighteen years old, she did a bad thing. A chance encounter at three a.m. may be the opportunity Roxanne needs to make amends.

TOASTED: Lottie finds out that some women do get toasters for converting straight gals.

LESBIAN SPEED DATING: Ginny Yost is intrigued when she sees an ad for lesbian speed dating. Will Ginny find the woman she's meant to be with?

THE JUMPER: Kim tries to talk a woman out of jumping off a bridge.

MRS. CLAUS'S KLONDYKE SECRET: Candace Claus, a.k.a. Mrs. Santa Claus, is on her yearly two-week cruise with Santa after the madness of the holidays. She is tired of living in the shadow of a man who has gone from jolly to cranky, plus she will no longer deny her true self. The time has come for Candace to fess up to Santa that she's a lesbian.

WESTINHOFFER, ANDREW BRIAN, 16: Elizabeth thought she said goodbye to Andrew Brian Westinhoffer when he was a baby, but she must force herself to say goodbye again.

And three more stories!