DESCRIPTIONHow to talk about sex to a boy must have been on my grandmother's mind one afternoon, years ago, when I was barely ten. Out of nowhere Bubbe, my Jewish grandma, said she had something important to tell me. "Don't let anyone play with your schmekele," she warned, embarrassing me to death. Schmekele is the Yiddish word for penis! She said she was worried I would come to no good like her two sons, my uncles Heshe and Lenny. They were my mother's older brothers, totally screwed up and screwed over by the kurvas. She was convinced those hot little chicks parading around out in skimpy outfits would discover me soon enough. After all, in Bubbe's imagination I was going to be a successful doctor or lawyer, every woman's dream. Gold digging kurvas and their scheming mothers would soon be hatching plans to trick me into marrying them.