Ever been offered a promotion that seems too good to be true? You know - the sort they'd be insane to be offering to someone like you The kind where you snap their arm off to accept it, then wonder why your long serving colleagues look secretly relieved, as if they're off some strange and unpleasant hook It's the kind of trick deeply sinister companies like J W Wells and Co pull all the time Especially with employees who are too busy mooning over the office intern to think about what they're getting into And it's why, right about now, Paul Carpenter is wishing he'd paid much less attention to the gorgeous Melze, and rather more to a little bit of small-print referring to 'pest' control