"Amusing and informative . . . [this] hilarious [memoir] provides useful advice for the customer. . . . as delightful as it is irreverent." —Washington Post Book World

According to The Waiter, eighty percent of customers are nice people just looking for something to eat. The remaining twenty percent, however, are socially maladjusted psychopaths.

Waiter Rant offers the server's unique point of view, replete with tales of customer stupidity, arrogant misbehavior, and unseen bits of human grace transpiring in the most unlikely places. Through outrageous stories, The Waiter reveals the secrets to getting good service, proper tipping etiquette, and how to keep him from spitting in your food. The Waiter also shares his ongoing struggle, at age thirty-eight, to figure out if he can finally leave the first job at which he's truly thrived.

"The front-of-the-house version of Kitchen Confidential; a painfully funny, excruciatingly true-life account of the waiter's life. As useful as it is entertaining." —Anthony Bourdain

"Extremely funny, no-nonsense and insightful." —New York Times Book Review

"The main attraction here is [Dublanica's] acerbic, biting and often hilarious accounts of life behind the scenes at the front of the house." —Wall Street Journal

"If you eat out with any regularity, read this book!" —Chicago Sun-Times