Eugene Elliott Kleinman never intended on becoming a vampire. At the geeky and awkward age of twelve, the boy was preoccupied with typical pre-teen nonsense.Shuffling home one afternoon with his stepmom's emasculating grocery sack of pads and other feminine products, Eugene tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and wiped out into a tall, sinewy, and ice-cold man. Unfortunately for Eugene, he knocked the man off his feet and right on top of him. The man's fangs plunged into Eugene's neck.Wiping excess blood off his mouth, the man stood and introduced himself as Maximus, Over Lord of the Damned, Freaks, Atheists, Rejects, and Terrors.Eugene replied with, "You do realize the acronym for your title is 'Old Fart,' don't you?"Maximus rolled his eyes, nodded, and sighed, but replied with, "Oops, I crapped my pants. Damned sun does it every time."Thus began Eugene's rocky and challenging transition from human to vampire. Balancing the benefits of both worlds solves a number of Eugene's social dilemmas, but he must decide, by the time he turns thirteen, which lifestyle he'll forever retain. The choice of eternal life or endearing mortality isn't an easy one for Eugene. Until he makes a decision, he must keep Maximus, the OLD FART, at bay.