A laugh-out-loud and completely honest memoir of a man and his wife's attempts to get pregnant, through whatever means possible

"Here again, Mr. Cossey?" asked the young Spanish embryologist, shooting me a welcoming smile as I followed him down the corridor. He had recognized me by sight, and that wasn't good. I was now the one thing you don't want to be in a fertility clinic. A regular. Martha wanted a baby. Mark wanted a baby. What's the worst that could happen? In four years of baby-making boot camp, Mark and Martha face The Calendar; the joy of sober, scheduled sex; hostile cervical mucus; IUI; and IVF. Through a combination of ignorance and outrage, Mark survives ejaculating into a small jar, stabbing his wife, having his sperm turned pink, and group sex with whales. This no-holds-barred welcome to the world of infertility is written by a man who has lived through it all and come through with his ultimate dream realized—his own family. It says a lot when you can call two years of sleepless nights a happy ending.