The guilt, the tortuous fear for her life and the gap in her memory made her wish she was the one who had died and not her daughter.Screaming voices in her head kept stopped her from sleeping well at night. They started while she was in jail awaiting trial. One of those voices she heard was her daughter calling her; "mommy, mommy, I love you," Those nights she would wake in a cold sweat, and would have taken her own life if she could have found a way.