Next!
I thought guidelines were for bringing a boat safely into harbour, not casting one out into a quietly stormy sea. It's a place of low emotion, blood pressure checks all through the night; you're shaken awake if you've dropped off. They say they're looking after you, but it's sleep deprivation. Sleep is the one thing that can help in such a place. Humour is a great healer – if it is there!
Rude uncaring trained staff?
Ask me? Modern day misery camps.
However, this script attempts to be humorous. Ho, ho, ho! See!
Hang on, that's Christmas.