Ewan Glumie was born on the day Man City last won a trophy, and for 35 years it's been failure for both of them. City have won nothing since, and he's exiled in Birmingham, temping in a job he hates and living with an ex who hates him. But success might be on the horizon. City are heading for an FA Cup final and Ewan knows he has to get a ticket, get a career and get a girl before it happens or forever accept that he's the jinx, and that the gloating 35 Years banner at Old Trafford is more about him than City.

The Striker's Fear of the Open Goal is a desperate, comic look at how a football team can be the most depressing thing in a man's life... and the only thing worth living for.