Taking a well deserved fishing vacation after a frantic two weeks of herding twenty cats while stepping over dead bodies, Tony Boudreaux finds himself neck deep in the proverbial quicksand when a stubborn and sassy black woman who claims to be his cousin pleads for his help to deliver a package containing the cremated remains of Lisa Gherardini, the alleged model for the Mona Lisa, to a ranch in Texas.

The only problem is that three international cartels are after the package. They pursue Tony and Latasha through a-flooded New Orleans with its alligators and snakes and across Louisiana and Texas, coming to a startling climax on the Brazos River when Tony learns the package actually contains the world's largest uncut diamond.