NOT ON THE MAP, 10 characters. An insane ensemble comedy. Peta Thessaloniki Von Wildergeist Flynn (called Pet), a world-renowned psychoanalyst in her eighties, has retired with her young lover to a not-on-the-map Sicilian farmhouse where no-one with "emotional emergencies" can find her. But then the doorbell rings, and Bobby Vitale, a stranded New York movie director, arrives, his rented car dead on the way to the airport. And then the doorbell rings again…and keeps ringing…with the invasions of Pet's family and former lovers and patients, all bringing their "emotional emergencies" with them, turning Pet's life and dreamhouse into an exploding minefield.