Crewman Harry Larkington put figgy-dowdy on the map—but then, he had 300 years to do it, thanks to the Vellies. It's 1807 and Napoleon rules most of the civilized world. The crew of the HMS Panther is headed for the fight against ‘Boney when four of the oddest looking creatures Harry's ever seen suddenly appear on the quarterdeck. Cutlasses and boarding axes are no match for the Vellies, who get a taste of Royal Navy food in the form of figgy-dowdy and decide that every Velalian must have some figgy pudding. Harry and his crew are mysteriously taken to a land that looks nothing like England, where they are forced to stay and make the figgy-dowdy for the enraptured aliens. Despite repeated escape attempts (and a close encounter of the lady kind that gives Harry a whole new appreciation of the opposite sex), the captive crew must continue to make the sacred pudding. When the rains of Velalia finally come, life on the alien planet changes and the crew is finally relieved of figgy-dowdy duty. But something is very wrong on the home front: since when does 'Boney have machines that fly through the air?