Copyright © Morticia Knight 2014. All Rights Reserved, Total-E-Ntwined Limited, T/A Totally Bound Publishing. “I can’t do it, Juan. It’s too hard.” “Yes you can, sir. It’ll just take some getting used to. You’ll really like it once you do.” Jack shook his head. “I don’t think so. And, if we’re going to be together like this, I want you to call me Jack. No more ‘sir’.” Jack didn’t have to turn his head to know that Juan’s jaw was probably tense and twitching the way it did whenever he was uncomfortable, or wanted to say something but forced himself to stay quiet. And no matter what Juan said, trying to teach Jack how to drive was pointless. He wasn’t strong enough to turn the wheel quickly, and his feet barely reached the pedals, which made it very hard to engage the clutch. “Sir…” Jack glared at Juan. They were on the studio lot, way in the back where there was little activity—and lots of open space. The Model T Ford Jack had purchased the day before had been delivered to him earlier, and he had asked Juan to show him how to drive it. Jack had seen the sadness on Juan’s face. Jack was sure he’d assumed the worst—that Jack no longer needed him and would be getting rid of Juan altogether. “Juan. I mean it. I’m just Jack. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be. Not Mr Stone, not sir, not Roman’s pet—just Jack.” He wasn’t sure where the remark about Roman had come from, but now that he was back to work finishing the film with Andrè Chenard, he was also back to random thoughts and feelings springing up out of nowhere. “Okay. Jack.” Jack laughed. Juan said his name as if it was a dirty word. Juan scowled a little. “I’m sorry, Juan. Geez, it’s just the way you said it. Like it was something horrible.” Juan had a pained expression on his face. “I’ll be right back s…Jack. I need to use the washroom.” Jack watched as Juan got out of the car and walked down the dirt road, head down, proceeding towards the buildings of the studio. He sighed. Jesus. I’m gonna need to deal with this sooner or later. So far, it had been later. Ever since Juan had helped Jack to escape Roman’s clutches—forfeiting his job at the same time—Jack had avoided the whole subject of Juan’s obvious infatuation with him. Part of it was Jack’s embarrassment—he was always shocked when someone took an interest in him. But the other part was he hated having to hurt anyone’s feelings. There had been too much sadness for everyone lately. He really cared about Juan as a friend. But he didn’t have any other interest in the handsome and masculine young man. Even if he had, Jack was at the point where he wondered if he would ever again be capable of feeling love towards another man. The intensity of the relationships with both Nick and Roman had used him up inside. Could he ask Juan to only be his friend and to not expect anything else? That was really the part that he was so selfishly worried about. If he told Juan there was no chance for them, he would probably leave. Jack couldn’t be alone right now. His nerves were erratic and unpredictable. It had been a little over a week since he and Juan had left Roman Pasquale’s estate for the last time, and Jack was having a difficult time adjusting. The first night in the hotel in Santa Monica where they still stayed, it had all seemed as though it was some weird dream. He had felt empty. Like nothing. Jack had performed one task at a time, moving him and Juan through the motions of getting through the rest of that day, and settled in for the night. It had been a relief to have Juan by his side through it all, the same way Juan had always seemed to show up at the right time when Jack was in trouble and he needed him. I can’t keep using him like this. It’s not fair. The one thing he didn’t...