Meet Justin Hearnfeld, a young man just out of college who would love to lose fifteen pounds and grow three inches taller but otherwise isn't sure what he wants out of life. Seemingly directionless, he takes a job as a high school teacher at the Clarke School for Boys, the private school he attended—and hated—as a teenager. There, Justin commits himself to finding the girl of his dreams. And there are so many possibilities. The girl who teaches in his department, the girl he dated in college, and that new girl who works at Clarke's sister school—all possibilities, but all with their own uniquely humorous frustrations. Also frustrating are Justin's problematic family and the rambunctious students who draw on too much of his time for all the wrong reasons. Something had better go rights for Justin soon, otherwise the bizarre and embarrassing misadventures that seem to plague his life are going to get the better of him.
In this funny and heartfelt coming-of-age novel, Justin takes his lumps one after another on his way to discovering who he is and the true meaning of love.