Before she became the iconic Dr. Helen of The Night She Said Hatchet, she was just a curious grad student with a clipboard, a kombucha buzz... and a front-row seat to the strangest therapy session in the desert.

Burning Man was never meant to be part of her dissertation—but when UCSF psych student Helen Sage found herself inside a tie-dye dome at sunset, flanked by a topless tea circle and a coconut penguin named Poppy, the research took a turn.

Enter: Cactus Dan. A sunburnt, sandal-melting enigma with cracked aviators, a Viking alter ego, and a suspicious amount of confidence in his penguin piña coladas. What starts as a spontaneous hypnosis session quickly spirals into something deeper, dustier, and decidedly more personal.

"I set out to study altered states... I just didn't expect mine to be one of them."

Is it a trance? Theatre? Or just Tuesday at Burning Man?

This short story offers a hilarious and heartfelt glimpse into Dr. Helen's origin story—the moment the playa cracked her open and the seed of everything that came next was planted.

A short story prequel to The Night She Said Hatchet.

Before the murder mystery, Pico the three-legged-dog, and her eclectic tea collection—there was Cactus Dan and a penguin with googly eyes.

A little bit philosophy, a little bit piña colada, and a whole lot of dust.

Perfect for fans of Tom Robbins, Jenny Lawson, or anyone who's ever considered going to a festival just for the people-watching.