What Dave Barry did for American history in Dave Barry Slept Here and to further the cause of "guys" in Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys he does for. . . EVERYTHING ELSE IN AMERICA. THE URBAN PROFESSIONALS; “I’m going to start a rock'n' roll band, not a good band, where you have to be in tune and wear makeup. This will be a band consisting of people who are Approaching Middle Age, by which I mean they know the words to "Wooly Bully. " This will be the kind of band whose members often miss practice for periodontal reasons and are always yelling at their kids for leaving Popsicles on the amplifiers. We will be called the "Urban Professionals. " I will be lead guitar. " Some Thoughts on the Toilet: "Both of our household toilets broke recently, on the same day. They work together, toilets. You know those strange sounds your plumbing makes at night? The ones that worry you much more than, for example, the threat of nuclear war? Those are your toilets, talking to each other. They communicate via plumbing sounds, similar to whales. "It's New Year's Eve, " they'll say. "We break tonight. "" "The funniest man in America. . . "said the New York Times, in one of their rare bursts of good humor, agreeing with the Pulitzer Prize Board which honored Dave Barry