A single dad, a model, and a comedian walk into a bar... They're all Owen Brodie.

It's only funny if you aren't the hilarious struggling comedian who has been hired to be his son's nanny for the stand-up tour.

Dear Ms. Hogan,

I'm emailing to offer you the job as my son's nanny because Sam had a temper tantrum when I told him I can't hire you to come on my stand-up tour with us. "She heckled me at a club a few years ago," I wanted to say. "She is the sassy little turd who trolls me on Twitter," I could have told him. "She's an even bigger pain in the butt when we're face-to-face," I thought to myself. What I would never tell him is—things could get complicated. For reasons.

Let me know if you want the job.

With great reluctance,

Owen

#AdorableHowObsessedYouAreWithMe

Dear Mr. Brodie,

Thank you for your email. Please inform Sam that I like him very much and would love to be his nanny and accompany him on your terrible joke of a stand-up tour.

I can assure you—things will not get complicated. For many, many reasons.

Primarily because Owen Brodie isn't funny, and he can suck it.

Out of financial desperation and a fondness for your son,

Frankie

#GetOverYourselfPrettyBoy