Sadie Klutzman didn't mean to get wine-drunk and download a dating app on a Tuesday night, but here we are. Thirty-six, divorced, emotionally dependent on cheese, and convinced her clitoris went into witness protection, Sadie's not exactly thriving—but she's trying. Enter Darren McGrady: IT support tech, cat dad to five emotionally unstable felines, and accidental viral sensation thanks to a rogue tabby bite. He's not suave. He's not ripped. He's just... real. And maybe exactly what Sadie didn't know she needed.

What starts with a clumsy dating app swipe turns into a series of hilarious, awkward, heart-tugging encounters that include poop attacks, disastrous first dates, painful honesty, and the slow terrifying crawl toward actual connection. There are no fade-to-black fantasy scenes here—just gloriously realistic sex, emotional intimacy, and the kind of love story built on laughter, honesty, and the occasional bodily function mishap.

Heavy Petting: A Real Love Story is a refreshingly raw romantic comedy about two people who've been broken, burned, and bruised—and still decide to try anyway.