What's worse than finding out your sexy date is a 700-year-old vampire?
Realizing he thinks your espresso machine is a cursed artifact and tries to exorcise it with Latin.

Lea Montanero is a snarky art curator whose dating life is so tragic it deserves its own gallery exhibit. Enter Raphael di Vecchio—devastatingly handsome, maddeningly mysterious, and the only man who's ever saved her from a falling sculpture and kissed her like he's trying to claim her soul.
Minor snag? He's an ancient vampire. And her ultra-rare "green blood"? Basically vampire crack. Oops.

Now she's stuck with a brooding immortal who can't work an iPhone, while fending off ancient bloodsuckers, bureaucratic vampiric politics, and a Council with more drama than a Real Housewives reunion. Add in a telepathic link that broadcasts her most embarrassing thoughts (yes, including that one about his abs), a revenge-driven pug with mysterious powers, and Raphael's tragic inability to understand Google Maps, and you've got a love story messier than a first date at an all-you-can-eat fondue buffet.

Think "The Hating Game"... but with fangs. Or "Outlander"—if Claire had more sarcasm and less plaid.
Because even vampires fight about doing the dishes. The only difference? They've got forever to win the argument.