When the Goddess and the Universe team up, with Destiny and Fate shakin' their pom-poms on the sidelines, it's more than a Witch can endure.

Buckle up, Buttercups. I'm the Witch your momma warned you about.

It was just another beautiful day in Hairy Wort when Taffy and I happened upon a dead body in the rubble of the Marshall Mansion –
That got up and walked away!
No! I am not messin' with you. I swear. It really happened.

Just when I thought things were as low as they would go – think the creepy, crawlies creeping and crawlin' at the very bottom of the Swamp – a tall, handsome Panther with a glint in his eye showed up like he owned the place.
Then you know what he did?
He told everybody he was my Mate.

What the H-E-Double-hockey-sticks am I supposed to do with that pile of Grunch crap? Good Goddess, if you love me, send me a hundred-pound box of chocolate and a gallon of Miss Bunny's sweet, iced tea.
Hey! Even better, come on down and hang out a while.
Heaven knows I could use the help.