Fresh off a nasty divorce and fueled by spite and bad decisions, Joe Thornton wins 100 acres in northern Michigan in a Go Fish game. Trading suburban misery for snow, moose, and madness, Joe befriends Donnie—a neighbor with dark humor and zero impulse control. Together, they face angry wildlife, exploding cabins, town hall chaos, and a Christmas only a lunatic could love. Hilarious, profanity-laced, and heartwarmingly unhinged, The Northern Bastard Chronicles is a laugh-out-loud tale of rural survival, second chances, and finding unexpected family in the middle of nowhere.