Forget everything you know about "manifesting." This isn't a book about vision boards or moonwater rituals. This is a hostile takeover of your existential operating system.

Science has cracked the code: Reality isn't solid. It's a choose-your-own-adventure hallucination rigged by 13.8 billion years of quantum spaghetti code. Ancient mystics called it "God." Physicists call it "wavefunction collapse." You'll call it "why the hell didn't they teach this in school?"

Inside this grenade of a book, you'll learn:

- How to blackmail the universe into giving you what you want (hint: stop asking and start assuming).

- Why your DNA is just ancestral malware-and how to debug generational curses in 7 days flat.

- The "6-8 week rule" to brute-force your way into parallel realities (spoiler: your soulmate and dream job already exist-you're just on the wrong Wi-Fi network).

Featuring case studies of single moms out-earning hedge funders, terminal patients ghostwriting their remission letters, and introverts seducing life without leaving the house, this manifesto blends Nobel Prize-winning physics with the unhinged optimism of a cult leader who actually delivers.

By the final chapter, you'll either:

A) Manifest a life so absurdly good you'll cackle daily, or

B) Die trying (quantum immortality's covered in Chapter 8).

WARNING: Contains traces of blasphemy, actual science, and actionable steps to become God's favorite glitch. Burn your vision boards. The future's waiting in your peripheral vision-and it's wearing a shit-eating grin.