Grease, genius, and gunpowder-the Industrial Revolution wasn't built by saints but by wild-eyed alchemists of iron. Nartov, Peter the Great's forgotten prodigy, carving precision into Russian frost. Vaucanson, that sly French conjurer, birthing clockwork ducks and looms that hissed like jilted lovers. Verbruggen, the Dutch exile, boring cannons in Woolwich's gloom, while Maudslay-oh, Maudslay!-filed screws so perfect they hummed hymns to the machine gods.

Then came Jacquard, weaving silk and binary code, punch cards fluttering like prophecy. Factories roared. Workers raged. Luddites swung hammers, screaming into the steam.

This isn't history-it's a bar brawl. A cacophony of sparks and sweat, where every gear turned on stolen dreams and bastardized blueprints. The past's a dirty engine. Crank it. Let it cough alive.