What happens when Silicon Valley's god complex collides with nanotechnology's fine print?

This irreverent autopsy of the longevity revolution reveals how we technically defeated aging-only to invent exciting new ways to suffer forever. Through leaked board memos, failed cyborg prototypes, and dossiers on billionaire "Starborn" who keep forgetting how gravity works, follow along humanity's descent into a Darwinian group project gone spectacularly wrong.

We begin in the history of nanotech development, tracing its origins from Feynman's 1959 "Plenty of Room at the Bottom" speech through the 21st-century boom that promised atomic-scale miracles. From early visions of molecular assemblers to the rise of nanotech atomic batteries powering everything from Mars colonies to neural implants, the dream was always clear: total control over matter. But reality had other plans.

While billionaires hoarded iridium for their personal fleets of immortalizing nanobots, the working class resorted to underground "nano-clinics," where unregulated tech often resulted in side effects ranging from chromatic vision to spontaneous musical theater (42% of patients exit singing show tunes due to hijacked nanotech-enhanced neural interfaces).

Regulatory agencies obsessed over biodegradable nanites while ignoring the real plague: entitlement-enhanced oligarchs ruling companies for centuries like undead Warren Buffetts, immune to death but not poor product design decisions. And lurking beneath it all, the specter of the original fear: grey goo. Not just a theoretical end-of-the-world scenario anymore.

"We are the gods now. And like all gods, we're dangerously unqualified."

- A toast from the abyss