Is there such a thing as too many tomatoes? Ask Johnny.

("Johnny Tomatoes" is a short story. It is also available in the author's 10-story collection, Daggyland #3.)

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When a couple of douchebag yuppies want out of their rental, they ask a private eye to have a word with their creepy landlord.

Private detective Archie Bleecker made his first appearance in a "non-ghost ghost story" in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine.

Known to the world as The Irrelevant Detective, Archie's pro bono cases typically involve objects of trivial value.

Few know that Archie wears gloves to hide his prosthetic fingers, which were bestowed upon him by a brilliant but eccentric scientist.

In some stories, that sort of gift would instantly make him a superhero.

This isn't that kind of story.

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"D'Agnese writes the most unusual and interesting books." —Bookviews