I have considered for a very long time whether I am writing another book about the problems and experiences in a family in which – also in the area – alcoholic, co-dependencies, divorce, illegitimate children and suicides are extremely widespread. In my first book on this topic "Inherited trauma – lived addiction" I have already told a part of my life story. In the present book, I report, not in chronological order, about the experiences with my addicted parents, siblings, relatives and my first wife. I dedicate a part of my time in a self-help group in which relatives were also welcome. I tell of my add to, the new foundation of a community and my exit. Furthermore, I report on my different psychotherapies and who or what helped me find my way again or better at all