Titanic Tantrums
ebook ∣ Chaos, Conquest, and the Dramatic Dawn of Greece's Original Power Family
By Scott Markham
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Book Description:
Ever wonder what happened before Zeus started throwing lightning and seducing anything with a pulse? Meet the Titans—the original dysfunctional family of the cosmos. They had the power, the drama, the terrible parenting strategies, and yes... a shocking lack of self-awareness.
In "Titans: Fall of the First Gods", Homer Sapien peels back the cloudy veil of ancient myth and delivers the full, scandalous, side-splitting truth. From Cronus' all-you-can-eat children buffet to Prometheus' eternal liver dilemma, and Mnemosyne's memory hoarding habits to Atlas inventing chiropractor bills—this is Greek mythology reimagined with sharp wit, divine snark, and a scroll's worth of cosmic therapy sessions.
Think of it as My Big Fat Mythological Meltdown, narrated by your favorite history professor if they'd had too much ambrosia and access to Twitter.
Perfect for fans of Neil Gaiman, Madeline Miller, or anyone who suspects the ancient gods might have been a little... unhinged.
So buckle up, offer a sacrifice to your emotional stability, and dive into the book the Olympians definitely don't want you to read.
And once you've recovered from this mythological trainwreck (with excellent lighting), be sure to check out more irreverent epics by Homer Sapien—where the gods are dramatic, the monsters have marketing problems, and immortality is just another reason to hold a grudge forever.
Because mythology shouldn't be dry. It should be deliciously unhinged.