How to Lose Friends and Irritate Everyone is not your typical self-help book — because honestly, why would you want to help yourself when you could be this iconic?

R.W. Stark delivers a savage, laugh-out-loud guide to mastering the fine arts of passive-aggression, emotional unavailability, group chat avoidance, and premium-grade flakiness.
In 18 gloriously unhelpful chapters, you'll learn how to ruin small talk, overshare for sport, ghost with flair, and become the human equivalent of "left on read."

Perfect for anyone who's ever said "I'm not for everyone" and meant it, this book is your permission slip to stop pretending you care — and start irritating with style.

Warning: reading this book may result in fewer friends, increased side-eye, and a strange sense of powerful freedom.
You've been warned.
Now go forth and disappoint.