This audiobook is narrated by a digital voice.

Saskia Sinclair was almost famous once. A pop hit in 2006, a brief stint on a soap, and a scandalous affair with a footballer—she had it all. But now, at 40, her career is drier than her agent's WhatsApp replies. So when she's offered a spot on Celebrity Survival Island, she says yes before reading the fine print. (Rookie mistake.)

Now she's in the middle of nowhere, with no phone, no glam squad, and no clue how to light a fire. She's sharing a makeshift camp with a disgraced MP, an ex-boyband member who won't stop flexing, and some influencer who won't shut up about her "journey." The food? Wild animals. The bathroom? A bush. The only thing standing between Saskia and total humiliation is the hope that the cameras somehow edit this into a heroic comeback.

Can she outlast the week without losing her dignity—or, more realistically, what's left of it? Will she rediscover her inner strength, or just a new allergy to nettles? And most importantly, will reality TV finally give her the second shot at fame she so desperately needs?

Or will she just end up as a meme?