Tired of self-help books promising success, happiness, and inner peace? Good. You're holding the only book brave enough to say what you're really thinking: "Why bother?"

Welcome to Ruin Your Life Now—the ultimate anti-self-help book for overthinkers, self-saboteurs, and anyone who's ever looked in the mirror and muttered, "Yikes."

Written by professional over-apologizer and amateur disaster Dicholas Chad Pansy, this brutally sarcastic guide shows you how to weaponize affirmations not for success—but for spectacular failure. Learn to:

Attract toxic relationships with the efficiency of a broken dating app

Manifest crushing debt and emotional instability

Sabotage your job, body, and soul in record time

Cultivate spiritual emptiness and repel divine intervention

Alienate everyone who ever loved you (or at least tolerated you)

Think of it as your daily dose of self-destruction, disguised as a coping mechanism.

Packed with toxic affirmations, unnecessary rants, and advice so bad it circles back to genius, Ruin Your Life Now is like a car crash you can't stop watching—except the car is your life and you're the one behind the wheel, blindfolded.

This is not a guide to healing.

This is a how-to manual for becoming the chaotic, emotionally-unstable dumpster fire you were always meant to be.

Don't fix your life. Ruin it. On purpose.