She's survived centuries of history, but can she survive a beauty pageant?

Countess Cordelia of Montserrat, a vampire with a taste for O-negative and a disdain for anything modern, has managed to stay off the radar for hundreds of years. But when a meddling, prophecy-obsessed Reaper blackmails her into entering the Miss Crescent City Pageant, Cordelia's carefully curated life of elegant obscurity is shattered.

Suddenly, she's "Ellie Nightshade," a quirky goth yoga instructor from Portland, facing mandatory spray tans (disastrous), swimsuit competitions (terrifying), and questions about world peace (yawn). To make matters worse, someone – or something – supernatural is targeting the contestants, and Cordelia is the only one who can stop the bloodshed.

Between a succubus rival, a Christmas-obsessed contestant, and a suspiciously perceptive influencer, can Cordelia solve the mystery, avoid exposure, and maybe even win the crown? Prepare for a hilarious, action-packed romp through the ridiculous world of beauty pageants, where the stakes are higher than a perfect score... they're life and death.