Let's get one thing straight. I'm not. I'm out and proud. Now I've written a book. It's not as easy as it looks. One night, I was working late on my computer when a little message came up on the screen, "You are almost out of memory." Here are my thoughts and observations on everything . . .

"She's funny, she's smart, she's gay. Read her book." —Ellen DeGeneres

"Girls with mascara—watch out! Kate will have it running down your cheeks in no time flat. She reminds me of every mouthy Catholic girl I ever knew in high school. You know, the one who got you in trouble for making you laugh during study hall. Thank heaven Kate did get started. She makes the world a funnier place." —Rosie O'Donnell"

"Sassy . . . wicked . . . hilarious . . . both hugely entertaining and proudly liberating." —Q San Francisco

"Kate Clinton manages the neat trick of being deliciously sane. Her book is a joy, filled with tasty, politically dangerous thoughts; Kate is the person you want to sit next to in the back row." —Paul Rudnick