Control through Dependency

audiobook (Unabridged) Creating a Dependency to Maintain Control

By Cito Harder

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Dependency is one of the most powerful tools of control, shaping the way individuals behave, think, and perceive their own agency. When someone is made to rely heavily on another person, organization, or system, their ability to make independent choices becomes severely restricted. This loss of autonomy often leads to a dynamic where the dependent individual feels trapped, unable to break free due to financial, emotional, or social limitations. Understanding how dependency is used as a control mechanism is essential for recognizing when it is being manipulated for someone else's gain.

At its core, dependency-based control thrives on restricting access to critical resources. These resources can be financial, such as when a controlling partner withholds money or employment opportunities to keep the other person reliant on them. It can also be emotional, as seen in relationships where one person conditions love and approval on the other's compliance. In extreme cases, entire organizations or governments create a structured form of reliance, making individuals believe that they cannot survive without their continued support.

A key component of dependency control is fostering a sense of learned helplessness. When people are repeatedly placed in situations where they feel incapable of acting on their own, they begin to believe that they are inherently powerless. Over time, this mindset erodes self-confidence and discourages any attempt to challenge the controlling force. Those who manipulate dependency often reinforce this belief by convincing individuals that the outside world is dangerous, that they are not competent enough to succeed alone, or that their well-being is entirely dependent on maintaining the current relationship or system.

Control through Dependency