For most of the life of Joseph Gutierrez, an unimaginable war lives within, a war that never sleeps, never rests. Beginning in childhood, living under the rulership of a harsh, uncaring, grandfather who forced his bigoted, foul mouthed and vulgar persona each day growing up with his mother and sister. Naturally a shy child, growing up in fear, developing a low sense of self, into adolescence and adulthood as the low esteem manifested into the beast it is today, Toxic Shame. Living with shame each day, detailed in different forms experienced daily. Now married with a daughter of his own, navigating shame, depression and anxiety as a devoted father and husband.