From an idyllic childhood in Bristol, with my gag-a-minute dad inspiring me to become a comedian, to dreadful teenage years in Bolton where education overlooked me, and all I learnt was how to be funny.

My first job gave me a taste of success and confidence, followed by my real education in the RAF. Butlins gifted me an enduring smile, and in Liverpool, I worked with the less fortunate while crossing paths with future stars.

Then came seventeen wonderful years of stand-up comedy, which took me across the UK and abroad, entertaining the British Forces, before a TV career began in failure, only to rise from the ashes with Di, the love of my life, and a new career in Maths and Science.

Packed with wildly funny tales, this book isn't half a good story – or is it?