For five long years, I didn't know my cat could turn into a vampire. That means I've spent five long years squishing little black toe beans, participating in all-night cuddles, and calling a full-grown man my itty bitty stinky kitty baby. When my near-death experience forces Zylus Myrkur to tell me the truth about how magic is real, I nope my way right back into my fish bowl. I will not be participating in any tropes, thank you. This is not a fish out of water, enemies to lovers romantasy. This is me—a barely functional adult—attempting to live my best life, which consists solely of reading books, eating cheese, and falling asleep on the couch. It does not include making friends with werewolf chihuahuas, meeting a moth faerie prince, or defeating a boogeyman. And it absolutely, completely, most definitely does not include falling in love. Falling in Love with My Vampire Cat is a laugh-out-loud romantic comedy with light fantasy elements, neurodivergent characters, and plenty of closed-door sizzle.