One word.
FEAR.

FEAR I won?t make it home.
FEAR I'll never be man enough in anyone's eyes.
Including my own.
And worst of all, FEAR that I?ll never feel again
the way Jolene Stewart makes me crave her next touch.

I've tried to forget her.
I've pushed her away in order to protect her from what I FEAR most.

Making her a widow.

But no matter how long it's been since I've seen her face,
no matter how many years go by without her touch,
the second our paths cross again I?m an instant fiend needing my next fix.

She?s my kryptonite.
My vice.
The one thing that makes me secretly wish for tomorrows and forever after's when all I?ve ever done is serve.

Give without even a thought for my fellow man & country after seeing so many soldiers die by my side.

But now, all I want to do is stay with her and her daughter
in this new world and home we?ve created together.

Although when nightmares from her past come calling,
and my next tour has me leaving with the FEAR I once again won?t return...
this time can I be man enough to promise her forever?
Or will finally giving her my heart be worse than any fate that waits for me overseas?