How to Test Negative for Stupid

audiobook (Unabridged) ∣ And Why Washington Never Will

By John Kennedy

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Format

audiobook

Edition

Unabridged

Author

John Kennedy

Narrator

John Kennedy

Publisher

HarperCollins

Release

07 October 2025

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Subjects

Biography & Autobiography Politics Nonfiction Humor (Nonfiction)

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Narrated by John Kennedy himself, this audiobook of "America's most quotable Senator" offers his perceptive (and hilarious) takes on the ridiculousness of political life in this scathingly witty takedown of Washington and its elite denizens.

How to Test Negative for Stupid offers the Senator's tongue-in-cheek guidebook through Washington, punctuated by his thoughts on various issues and humorous stories about life from Louisiana politics and inside the Senate.

From the mind—and mouth—of ""America's Most Quotable Senator"":

  • "Always be yourself . . . unless you suck."
  • "I say this gently: This is why the aliens won't talk to us."
  • "If you trust government, you obviously failed history class."
  • "I believe that our country was founded by geniuses, but it's being run by idiots."
  • "Always follow your heart . . . but take your brain with you."
  • "I'm not going to Bubble Wrap it: The water in Washington, D.C., won't clear up until you get the pigs out of the creek."
  • "I have the right to remain silent but not the ability."
  • "Common sense is illegal in Washington, D.C., I know. I've seen it firsthand."
  • "I believe that we are going to have to get some new conspiracy theories. All the old ones turned out to be true."

    • Format

    audiobook

    Edition

    Unabridged

    Author

    John Kennedy

    Narrator

    John Kennedy

    Publisher

    HarperCollins

    Release

    07 October 2025

    Share

    Subjects

    Biography & Autobiography Politics Nonfiction Humor (Nonfiction)
    How to Test Negative for Stupid